Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's just like the Real World with babies
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
