respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
