I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
