remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
