I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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