I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
