I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
