I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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