Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
