this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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