I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
