My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
