I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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