i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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