She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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