They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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