Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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