I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
