I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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