Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
