why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
