apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We just shotgunned beers for America
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
