I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
wow bdsm is so cute
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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