Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
