Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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