can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
