I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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