Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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