Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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