I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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