Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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