I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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