My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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