Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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