margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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