dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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