let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
