Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
