Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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