So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
third nipple confirmed
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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