Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
