K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
