i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
