obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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