I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
