everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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