absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
birth control should be required to get into college
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
