we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
