The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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