That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
