nut hugger
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
