Small penises have feelings too.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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