You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
