You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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