i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
