That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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