is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.