billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.