I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
