my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
